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HBO's Big Love season 4 has started and I am really happy about that. There is something about the show that always makes me re-think my own relationships with my sisterwives. I've said it before, but that is my main struggle. The sharing part, the jealousy, the secrecy..all of those aspects I've got pretty much under control. I wouldn't say I've got them fully under control. But definitely 80-90%. Once in a while the remaining 20-10% emerge and slap me in the face, and it hurts, but overall life is easy.
Now relationships with sisterwives.. not so easy. We go back and forth from not communicating, to being civil, to enjoying each others company, to enfuriating one another. But we never get to the level of close friendship. To a feeling of real familiarity, a real bond.
Even though the wives in Big Love have many issues with one another, the main thing that always stands out in the series is the fact that they belong to that one family. And as with any family there are fights, lies, and issues, but its still undeniably a family. We do not have that feeling with one another..
Sometimes I feel like that really isn't necessary either. Why should we be anything more than just civil? Do our lives really have to be so intertwined? But then sometimes, like now, I think well we really only have each other. There is nobody who knows what we go through. We should stick together, and truly let each other in into our hearts.
One needs a big arsenal of social skills in polygyny. And a lot of patience and forgiveness and humbleness. And I fail in all of those traits.