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So I bought this fashion magazine to catch up on the latest styles, even though I don't follow any trends sometimes it's nice to see what the fashion guru’s have come up with for the season. Very naively I started reading the articles as well, which I usually skip, I just check the pics, there's no interesting things to read in fashion magazine's anyway I believe.. Well! Boy was I shocked!
The title of the piece was something like “sometimes it’s good to try something new”. And basically it told the story of a few women who tried out new things – sessually. All the story lines went like this – I had been with my boyfriend / husband for 3 / 5 years and he had often made comments or jokes about us doing a tre-some / switching partners with friends / trying out sesstoys etc. I never thought much about it, but after a while he really became serious about the issue and I understood that it was something that he really wanted. I was wary at first but decided to at least give it a try and see what it was like before judging about it.
Eventually every one of them had tried what their partner wanted of them and had had a good time, and all of them said well, it was a onetime thing, and they weren’t really planning on making it a habit, but who knows..
And I was like WTF???
So my 15 year old cousin could buy this piece of crap and read it? What the F is wrong with these people?
I was so amazed. I mean in EVERY story line the guy came with the request and the girl just went along with it reluctantly. Since when did the sessual revolution end being about doing exactly that which pleases you the most, and it became about doing whatever the man finds pleasing?
The even more insane thing is, that each and every one of these women would look at me and feel sorry for me, because I am sharing my husband with three other women. They would feel like I am doing something to please him, and am thus sacrificing something of myself. The truth is that I never experience any of this sh!t which I just read. He never ever puts any demands on me in these terms. There is no need to try out new stuff. Intimacy is all about ME, whatever I want, whatever I wish. If it may be a good night sleep - I get a spoony behind me and it’s fine.
What a relief…
PS. I say sess with double s because I don't want any unwanted Ads popping up.. ;)
3 comments:
Another esseedingly essellent choice of topics 3rd. :)
Was your main issue with the article (1) the morality of the particular activities involved (e.g. treesomes and partner swapping), (2) that one partner was pressured to do something they didn't like, or (3) that it was always the woman compromising to please the man?
I think open communication about what each partner wants is a good thing, but love, respect and the desire to please your partner should work both ways. Let's say husband would like to try out sesstoys (and has no moral issue with them), but is not sure how his wife might respond. Should he keep his desire a secret or make it known? I think it's probably a healthy thing for him to talk about it with his wife, but there should be no pressure if she does not want to do it. However, she may choose to do it (even if it doesn't particularly excite her) to please her husband. There is pleasure in bringing your partner pleasure, but it has to work both ways.
(Just for the record, this is a hypothetical. Personally, I don't see the point of sesstoys when God gave women so many, er… um… wonderful parts to play with. Choosing my words carefully to avoid those dreaded pop-up ads. ;) I hope my post isn't overstepping any boundaries.)
Intimacy should be about the We not ME in my book. It needs to be reciprocated in order for the relationship to be deep and special. You come across a little selfish when you stated it as you did. There's something rather self-centered when you say it's all about you. For your husbands sake I hope that wasn't really what you meant.
Being reluctant or wary doesn't mean "forced" as you seem to imply about these women and their action to give their SO's idea a whirl.
These women obviously cared enough about the relationship to be open-minded and willing to explore the interest of their SO. It's really no differnt than a woman trying fishing or hunting if her man is into that sort of thing. I think that it shows a willingness to meet your partner half-way. If she likes it well, more power to them, but if she doesn't at least she showed the desire and effort to enhance the relationship, and hopefully her SO will appreciate her efforts in accommodating him.
Whether you want to admit it or not your situation is no different than what the husband/boyfriend is suggesting to these woman. You're basically sleeping with three people as well as all their previous partners from a physiological persepctive.
Considering your lifestyle I'm surprised at your closed-mindedness.
There seem to be more people than one would think that give in to that type of thing.
I question the husbands that do this to their wives/partners but then since I'm not in their shoes or know anyone to question I don't.
Anonymous - polygamy isn't about sess! Believe it or not I understand where you come from, the physiology has occasionally bothered me and we're middle aged people! If we were younger it would be a more difficult issue with me, don't ask me why because I dn't know. This is another one of those inexplainable things one deals with in plural relationships.
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