One's worth

The past two weeks have been very hectic. I have been coming back home from work around 9 or 10 pm just to wake up at 6am again. And whoever thinks being in polygyny results in more time for one self is dead wrong, cause I've got the other wives and kids to think of. So this means I have to make time to talk on the phone and meet up if someone is feeling down or very up for that matter... the bottom line is I was irritable this last week, and now that I am writing this I see that I started out by explaining myself and the circumstances..

Circumstances which led me to go off at Mr.Hubby when he was with 4th. He called me up to see how I was doing and the conversation went well, till he mentioned that he had forgotten to call the landlord … that triggered this waterfall of frustrations in my head. I told him that I could have predicted he would forget about this, and that if he had called, it would have been a pleasant surprise more than a normality – which, I said, it should actually be. It’s all true though, he’s a mess when it comes to remembering things, even conversations or whose day or week it is. It sometimes makes for hilarious moments, like “3rd, we went to this movie last week right?” 2nd:”no that was with me..” – awkward silence

He replied by saying that it is all true and that he feels very bad about the fact that while I am so stressed he doesn’t chip in by being more reliable and organized. And that he is really going to do his best to focus more.. that he appreciates all I do and wishes he was a helping out more.

Not one single excuse for himself or blame towards me..

While he was talking I realized how wonderful it was of him that he took my criticism for his betterment and didn’t try to defend himself but was just there to listen and understand me. While I, even when I keep my mouth shut, usually think “yes but..” and that always shows. You can see when someone is genuine in their understanding of your pain and what they did wrong or when they are thinking about all the ways in which you have wronged them and how their behaviour was justified.

It made me realize what a special characteristic he has, and that I felt superior because I handle business better, while he really is the bigger man in things.