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Sorry for not posting for a while... I have been on a business trip which prevented me from connecting and writing down my thoughts. It’s been an incredibly busy week, but very interesting.
Few days back I was in the midst of a presentation, when all of a sudden it struck me that I felt so disconnected. You see, my co-workers know just a part of me, they know my professional self. And though they know me, they know so little about me. And sometimes this makes me feel like I am leading this schyzo life. If you ever saw the movie Jumper – that’s what I mean. I continuously have to jump from one life to the other, my professional life, to relatives life, to friends life, to polygyny life… and the differences are so huge. My family, me being 3rd, could not be further apart from the person I have to be in the workspace. And that sucks up so much energy.
I think it’s such a wonderful thing when someone is true and genuine with the people around them. But how can we do that if we have to keep secrets? Mr.Hubby always says we have our universal intrinsic values which we can share and live freely. But the schyzo life sometimes really gets to me.
Few days back I was in the midst of a presentation, when all of a sudden it struck me that I felt so disconnected. You see, my co-workers know just a part of me, they know my professional self. And though they know me, they know so little about me. And sometimes this makes me feel like I am leading this schyzo life. If you ever saw the movie Jumper – that’s what I mean. I continuously have to jump from one life to the other, my professional life, to relatives life, to friends life, to polygyny life… and the differences are so huge. My family, me being 3rd, could not be further apart from the person I have to be in the workspace. And that sucks up so much energy.
I think it’s such a wonderful thing when someone is true and genuine with the people around them. But how can we do that if we have to keep secrets? Mr.Hubby always says we have our universal intrinsic values which we can share and live freely. But the schyzo life sometimes really gets to me.
4 comments:
Would it be such a bad thing if you were to bring your two lives together?
It would be bumpy at first I am sure but don't you have a right to be sane?
I'm sure that at times you must feel like you are living a lie in your professional life. It isn't who you really are.
Your family is who you really are.
Just some thoughts...
I love your blog by the way.
hi dale.. how cool - I have a male reader - besides Mr.X (smile)
But really, welcome!!
I hope to be able to be honest one day. It would make me feel so much lighter. Right now I am afraid it would be like opening the box of pandora..
I know what you mean. I feel like I have a secret identity sometimes. I have a public face (with associated myspace page and all), and then a blog for friends and family, and then a seperate blog about my polygamous marriage. I get freaked out about those identities mixing, because who knows what could happen if one link gets into the wrong hands?
I noticed I have one person who looks at both my public family blog AND the private one, and I know it's not one of the three people I gave both links to. So I already have a secrutity breech somewhere. lol
I guess it's such good gossip, they just can't resist sharing the links. It's makes me nerbvous, but what can I do? I enjoy blogging and having a place to air my thoughts too much to stop.
*c* - how about that security breach? I'd be long gone - offline - if I noticed anything of the kind.
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