Thursday, February 26, 2009


Excerpts from the Address to Joint Session of Congress (full transcript here).
I understand that when the last administration asked this Congress to provide assistance for struggling banks, Democrats and Republicans alike were infuriated by the mismanagement and results that followed. So were the American taxpayers. So was I. So I know how unpopular it is to be seen as helping banks right now, especially when everyone is suffering in part from their bad decisions. I promise you – I get it.
But I also know that in a time of crisis, we cannot afford to govern out of anger, or yield to the politics of the moment. My job – our job – is to solve the problem.
Our job is to govern with a sense of responsibility. I will not spend a single penny for the purpose of rewarding a single Wall Street executive, but I will do whatever it takes to help the small business that can’t pay its workers or the family that has saved and still can’t get a mortgage.
That’s what this is about. It’s not about helping banks – it’s about helping people.

In a global economy where the most valuable skill you can sell is your knowledge, a good education is no longer just a pathway to opportunity – it is a pre-requisite. Right now, three-quarters of the fastest-growing occupations require more than a high school diploma. And yet, just over half of our citizens have that level of education. We have one of the highest high school dropout rates of any industrialized nation. And half of the students who begin college never finish.
This is a prescription for economic decline, because we know the countries that out-teach us today will out-compete us tomorrow.

It is our responsibility as lawmakers and educators to make this system work. But it is the responsibility of every citizen to participate in it. And so tonight, I ask every American to commit to at least one year or more of higher education or career training. This can be community college or a four-year school; vocational training or an apprenticeship. But whatever the training may be, every American will need to get more than a high school diploma. And dropping out of high school is no longer an option. It’s not just quitting on yourself, it’s quitting on your country – and this country needs and values the talents of every American.

As we stand at this crossroads of history, the eyes of all people in all nations are once again upon us – watching to see what we do with this moment; waiting for us to lead.
Those of us gathered here tonight have been called to govern in extraordinary times. It is a tremendous burden, but also a great privilege – one that has been entrusted to few generations of Americans. For in our hands lies the ability to shape our world for good or for ill. I know that it is easy to lose sight of this truth – to become cynical and doubtful; consumed with the petty and the trivial.
But in my life, I have also learned that hope is found in unlikely places; that inspiration often comes not from those with the most power or celebrity, but from the dreams and aspirations of Americans who are anything but ordinary.
I think about Ty’Sheoma Bethea, the young girl from that school I visited in Dillon, South Carolina – a place where the ceilings leak, the paint peels off the walls, and they have to stop teaching six times a day because the train barrels by their classroom. She has been told that her school is hopeless, but the other day after class she went to the public library and typed up a letter to the people sitting in this room. She even asked her principal for the money to buy a stamp. The letter asks us for help, and says, "We are just students trying to become lawyers, doctors, congressmen like yourself and one day president, so we can make a change to not just the state of South Carolina but also the world. We are not quitters."
We are not quitters.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Just thinking

My mom died of cancer when I was very young.. It will be in a few days, the day she died. Its late now, I have no idea why I am typing this. In all these years I have never understood why I miss her. I can hardly remember what am I missing?
Still, she seems to be the most wonderful and amazing person that ever lived on this planet. And I can't get over the fact that I will never get to know her.
I find it hard when my friends argue with their mothers. I think of time wasted, of what I could do with that time, had I had it.
I wish she was here to assist me in things. Maybe she is, maybe she is here with me and she supports me through all the things, more so than she could ever do were she still alive.
But, I wonder, how would life be were she here now, beside me

Sunday, February 8, 2009

@CM - Why polygyny

Anonymous signed CM posed some good questions about polygyny as a reply to my previous post, which I will try to answer here.

CM, first off, thanks for the nice comment and your genuine interest. I totally understand where you are coming from – I think I would have had similar questions had I read a blog like mine before coming to faith..

The way you state my situation is quite correct I guess..

“You support yourself”
Yes, though it’s my choice – I could expect from Mr.Hubby to support me, but I like using my brains and earning my own money, so this actually works for me
“You only get to see your husband one or two days a week"
Actually two days every two weeks, in the meantime we do see each other but it’s not ‘my day’ which means he spends the night at another home
“You have to delay having children now”
This has nothing to do with the principle of polygyny or with what God asks of women, it’s just that I don’t know yet how to handle my family, society, questions from my kid(s) etc
“If and when you do have children they will have a part time father”
Yes, they will
“In many ways you will have to raise them like a single mom”
“Your husband on the other hand has four wives and is never alone unless he chooses to”
He is indeed never alone, and choosing to be alone is hardly an option for him as it will most probably not be accepted by the wife whose day it is
“Has children and decides his schedule with them”
The schedule is decided by the mothers and the children not by Mr.Hubby
“Can choose to add as more wives without the consent of the other wives”
Indeed no consent is needed from the wives, though any sane man would make sure they are on board since otherwise he would surely go nuts trying to make peace
“Has a variety of se.xual partners that are sanctioned by God”
Yes, obviously he does

This however is also very true:
While each wife has time for herself, to meet with friends by herself etc, Mr.Hubby has to be present and involved with someone in his family every day. This means that if he is tired from work and would have nothing rather than to sit quietly for some hours, he simply can’t do that. The family has been waiting for him, they need 100% of his attention and his care.
This also means that if he has had a fight with one of the wives and is on his way home to a different wife, he needs to shake it off and put on his happy face in order to give them the care and attention which they are entitled to.
If the husbands desires to be alone with one of his wives, he has to wait just as the wife does. And this can be just as hard on him as it is on the wives. The fact that he is with someone doesn’t mean that he can’t miss another wife..

This continuous effort from a man’s part is something which is demanded by God as well.. A man has the right to have more than one wife, but has obligations towards them as well, and the rights of women are in God’s hands. So any man with any faith in his heart will feel a heavy load making sure he is doing right by his wives.

I have read quite some polygyny blogs, and I have found many situations there which seem unjust and cruel. Maybe the men have taken their task too lightly - I am sure many men do.. I guess men think “yes! polygyny! – a variety of se.xual partners!” But then it turns out they don’t get a variety of se.xual partners instead they get wives, with demands, and feelings, and emotions, and kids, and bills, and responsibilities.. which is of course less appealing than dating, or adultery, or maybe even serial monogamy.

Polygyny is hard. But I can say that I prefer it above monogamy. The reason for it is that I get a better husband and a better father for it. Dealing with multiple families, continuously, with an intention to do as pleases God, gives more insights in ourselves and in others, it makes us grow.
I guess I experience polygyny as a crash course in human relationships. Mr.Hubby tells us all the trials and tribulations, the emotional rollercoasters of polygyny have made him understand and realize so many things which he never knew when he was in a monogamous relationship with 1st. And 1st agrees. She often sais how she really thought she knew herself and could say she knew the way she would respond to a situation – when in fact she got to know so many things about herself when she had to share Mr.Hubby.
Now the question is - is that important to a person? Maybe for people it will be good enough to be together and have a fairly uncomplicated and content life.. that's fine also. I am very happy with this aspect of polygyny though, since I am hoping to better myself as much as I can..
Also what's very important to me is that Mr.Hubby is clean in his mind and heart because he has no desire for other women. Just think about it. How massive is the industry catering to men’s se.xual thoughts and desires? All these men are husbands and fathers as well…

CM, I’ve tried to answer your questions as much as I could.
Why God asks this of women.. I don’t think that’s the right question. God asks something of men and women. I think God has created men in a certain way, and women in a certain way. With our own good and bad traits. And it is my beliefs that most men are better men when they have more than one wife and deal with that right in an honorable way. And most women are better women when they share their husband and can get past jealousy and fear.

I feel like I am not jealous of the other wives any more. They get on my nerves still sometimes, but it’s not because of jealousy in the sense that it bothers me to know they sleep with Mr.Hubby. I feel that forming a good bond with my sisterewives is the next step. The next step in burning away my ego and becoming more humble, more accepting of whatever God ordains for me, becoming a nicer human being… It’s the next step.. I definitely have a lot to do still.
But if you look at it from this perspective it becomes a means to an end, instead of a sacrifice for an unclear cause..
Please let me know whether any of this makes sense to you..