Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Sometimes things just take you by surprise

You'll never guess what happened!
4th all of a sudden started talking to me!
Yeah, I know, crazy right?
And it happened almost immediately after I wrote that previous post.
Its like God said, 'Ok, I see you are trying, I'll make it easier for you'.
I was actually a bit too shocked to respond at first. But then I did my best to communicate back as well. Today I made an effort to talk to her myself. Nothing special really - superficial stuff, but definitely less strained. Not sure why she changed her mind though, it surely took me by surprise.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Feedback please

Hello all.. I'd appreciate some tips today.
There is not much new stuff to write about. My relationship with 1st and 2nd is steady, not anything deep but we try to communicate about the most important events in the week for example. But with 4th it is quite strained. We limit it to the mere necessities. Now in a way I am fine with that. And in a way I feel like I souldn't have to try and change that since she obviously isn't trying.
But then again, I feel like I should just be the bigger woman so to speak. My aim is not to achieve friendship, not now anyway. But it would be nice to not feel so iced up when talking to her. Any tips?
I have considered making it a one way effort. So just start talking to her about something that happened to me during the week, even if she doesn't really respond to it. But I am honestly not so good at that "we're pretending everything is fine" type of thing. And it seems this requires some faking. Or is there another way?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


I haven't updated here in ages it seems. Been cheating on you guys, found a new place to vent. It's writing... fiction. And I am writing for me only, not sharing it on any blog or whatever.
It's really weird, but it totally lifts me up. Though I've realized that in the end its just another way to escape reality. If I am walking or in the car or whatever, cooking even, a part of my brain disconnects and I enter some other world, my imaginary world. Then, when I have to get back to reality and really focus, it seems that much easier and somehow even more interesting.
It would be the best thing ever if I could end up earning a living with writing. A lot of discipline is involved with it though and whether I will ever finish a book I really don't know. It seems like my head holds an entire lake of thoughts and ideas and what's on paper is maybe just a cupfull. It takes a lot of times to translate feelings, images and thoughts into words. Words that convey them all well anyway...
But nuff about that. Some updates from my side. Mr.Hubby told me he wants to change the schedule. Its time for something more balanced according to him. He would want to move to a two days each .. I would really love that! It's not decided yet. He has to talk to the other wives separately and see in what way he can make it work with everyone. I guess 1st and 2nd will still want some kind of arrangement in which the kids get to see him more often, for dinner at least for example.
Then... Mr.Hubby said its time to start planning for kids! He said he hopes I will be pregnant a year from now at the latest.. :) I'm really nervous thinking about it but at the same time so excited. I've been thinking about this for so long. Sometimes I felt like nothing really mattered and I should just have kids regardless of the situation. Other times I've felt like there was no way I could make it work. Its been good talking about it with Mr.Hubby.
I am quite tired at the moment and though there is much more to be said on the topics, I will really have to try and post more another time. Right now, I'm in need of some mental silence.
Cheers all.