Sunday, June 22, 2008

Missing him

I was watching a movie today, some really sweet story about a guy who falls in love with this girl and the feeling in the end turns out to be mutual. And I found myself feeling some sort of nostalgia, a sense of sadness for something which was but will not be again. That feeling of wanting something which is unknown, the excitement of meeting that person and keeping your feelings secret while they show clearly in your look and smile and posture.. then to realize exactly the same is the case with them.. and what a rush that gives. Two people standing in front of each other desiring with every cell in their body to come closer, but keeping their distance due to whatever reasons. Yeah, it made me feel nostalgic.

I think that is the best part of falling in love. The time before you declare yourself to one another, the time of unspoken desires. Is it wrong for me to feel this way I wonder? What would Mr.Hubby think if I told him? Is it because I am missing him so much that I feel this way? I wish I could just call Mr.Hubby and tell him to get his butt over here for some passionate quality time.. but I can’t.

Maybe that’s the real cause for my nostalgia. My missing him. It's easy to think it all has to do with polygyny and having to share him is to blame for everything, and I think we women tend to do that way too quickly. But I wonder how many of the women in a monogamous marriage find themselves watching a movie and wishing they would have that passion in their life.
I might consider myself lucky for having that with Mr.Hubby even though our time together is little.. I just miss him.

15 comments:

UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

I miss mine too but he is far far far away....*sniff*

Debra said...

I can so relate. I wouldn't give up being a poly family for anything, but sometimes, I just miss him so darned much.

I thought I was being a total weirdo--he can be in the same room, but I miss him.

Then I realized it WAS a nastalgia thing--I missed the Old Us. Don't get me wrong, he is still tender and attentive and loving. And I love him so much, I am sitting here moved to tears at my passion for him.

I usually brush it off on being perimenopausal--easy to blame the hormones....

I am glad someone else can relate to that feeling.

BTW, I am Dee, of the Trouple House. ES is my sisterwife of 1 1/2 years, Bud is my husband of nearly 14.

Have been enjoying reading your blog, just haven't taken the time to comment.

~D

Faceless Niqabi said...

I know exactly the feeling. Sometimes i think hubby is weirded out bc he could have just left and I start with the i miss you already stuff LOL his tone or facial gesture tells me that he's confused LOL

The Pastoral Princess said...

I think this is a perfectly natural feeling for all women in a relationship. My husband and I are more like roommates than lovers these days with a 2 year old and a 4 year old, it's pretty impossible to even just have a grown up conversation. I am lonely most of the time...but I am never alone. It's an odd feeling. We talk about it, but we can't seem to figure out what to do about it. We just keep saying "it will get better when the kids get older"...maybe, maybe not.

UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

I just realized that your little poll thingy says that 7 people(I forget the percentage) think that Polygyny is disgusting......But I must say it is only disgusting if you forget to brush your teeth or bathe but isn't everything disgusting when you forget to brush your teeth or bathe? Yeah....I am bored but I did post....just for you....

UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

Oh and when hubby is here I feel like a school girl with a crush it is weird I always thought that the new couply bubbliness wore off but for us at least for me...it never did...Alhumdullilah

UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

HA HA another one under disgusting....really what is digusting about it? It is not like we are all bumping uglies together. The physical aspect of each realtionship is kept private, At least in my case and every other person I know it is but I guess there are at least 8 freaks out there that think otherwise....

Mr. X said...

Great work. I love coming to your site to get a nice fresh women's point of view. I tmay kind of surprise you but even though I have a couple of wives I often don't even consider anything is strange in our marriage. But when i read your words I realize I am missing the boat WAY too often. Thanks for you work.

Mr. X

Anonymous said...

LOL... i can totally relate to what you're saying. We've been married a long time - we still call each other up like we first used to.
As soon as hubby is out the door heading towards work.....i'm missing him already.
Ummabdur-rahmaan - i've still got the school girly crush thing too. LOL......

3rd... said...

@ua-r - ROTL, "another one under disgusting....really what is digusting about it? It is not like we are all bumping uglies together"

I too wonder who those 8 are, and how they ended up on this blog. I'm happy I added that response to the poll, at least it gives an idea of the audience

3rd... said...

@mr.x - what an honour.. I had no idea you read my blog more often. How cool!
A male's perspecitve is very much appreciated!

3rd... said...

@princess, How frustrating you have to put stuff on hold now. I hope it gets better sooner - waiting till the kids get older could be quite some years right? I get the sense of feeling lonely while not alone. Feel for u girl.

American Muslima Writer said...

You know you'd think that with more time apart you'd feel shyer and more romantically inclined when he's at home. You're not with him daily to get sick of his face or get bored with things he says. Although there is a special sweetness just before and just after you declare your love (hense hundreds of romance novels) there can still be a renewal of affections within marriages up and downs. That's why after fighting it's so much fun to make up.
I spent over a year in misery but now we are on the up side and are falling in love again and it's amazing...just to stare in you're love's eyes and smile and know he loves you so much is amazing.

UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

Holy crap there is 9 of them now...they are gaining on us.....

new#3 said...

3rd, this missing him part I can relate to. The missing the old "us" or just missing period. This is one of the reasons wife 1 and 2 here insist on all of us being in one house. Well really just #2 feels strongly about it. She misses him so much after all these years, since I came on board that she will come out of her room several times at night (hubby and I stay up later) to say good night to him. That's an extreme example I know but the point is she can't even fathom the idea of his not being under her roof for a few days..I understand it totally but in the long run, I'm still holding out for separate houses. :)