Monday, June 30, 2008

Values and Norms

I do not usually discuss news items on this blog, but this one really caught my attention…

“…she moved closer to the screen -- and got chills. Then one of her daughters screeched, ‘Mommy, that girl looks just like us!’ Kimberly's daughter was right: Every single child did look remarkably like hers. Then she heard the commentary: ‘Sperm Donor 401...German background...’ The seven women on screen were talking to the show's host about a man neither she nor they had ever met: the biological father of all their children.”

“The publicity from the morning show eventually caught the attention of even more parents with 401's progeny. A total of 19 got in touch with one another, including single women and lesbian and heterosexual couples.”


I just think it’s so strange how our society finds it acceptable that a man would donate his sperm and have kids all over the place, while the guy who actually decides to take care of his wives and children is deemed a criminal. It really doesn’t make any sense to me..
Also I wonder why women tend to think we are settling for less when living in a plural marriage, but would applaud the woman who decides to use a sperm donor..

Isn’t it just plain crazy?

15 comments:

~Ummi said...

This shows just how backwards society is. They would jail a man, who marries more than one woman, has children, provides for all of them, but not the one who just drops a few drops and leaves...SMH, tsk tsk tsk

*C* said...

It's a good point that I hadn't heard before. We laugh sometimes that when SW has kids, people would probably react better if she were an unwed mother than a second wife. It's a shame that people are so narrow-minded.

The Pastoral Princess said...

Yes that is a thought I hadn't pondered...a very screwed up value there! Why is a man a criminal for being responsible...but a 'donor' is completely acceptable?!

UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

Its because if we choose to be a co-wife then we must be brain washed...I mean who in thier right mind would make a choice like that???? Is all that second hand crack smoke....

Safiyyah said...

Indeed it is crazy :)

American Muslima Writer said...

Masha'Allah I dont think I've ever heard anyone expound on this islamically or not.
What rights does this sperm donor have and owe to these women and children?
I once pondered why didn't someone set up a human milk factory for giving their milk to babies instead of formula a mother can buy someone's breast milk (frozen) then thought about the consequences ISLAMICALLY and thought WHOA NOOOO!! All those babies would be milk brothers and sisters with strangers and might marry one someday.... baaad.
Same thing here with the sperm donor.... what if little boy donor X married little girl donor X and they were really siblings.... icky. subhanAllah Allah is the ALL WISE (WISEST) because He gave us Poly to satisfy the needs of men to multiply or be fulfilled in ways (and women too). AlhamdulliahiRabbil Al-Amiin!

Safiyyah said...

Salaams AMW:

Afrtifical Insemination is not permitted in Islam:

"Ibn Jibrin said in regard ...

"Our ulama of Saudi Arabia hold the position that this is prohibited. It involves exposing the awrah, touching the private areas, and manipulating the womb. All of this is prohibited, even if the sperm comes from the husband of the woman (from whom the egg is extractd). My advice is that one should avoid it and submit to Allah's decree, because 'He renders whom He wills barren (Quran 42:50).'"

(from "Sickness: Regulations & Exhortations" by Imam Muhammad al-Jibaly)

Besides, many of the Mothers of the Believers (Prophet's, peace be upon him, wives) were barren. For example, Aisha (ra) never had children, Alhamdulillah.

3rd... said...

It's just so weird that our society finds it unacceptable that a man should have more than one wife, while cheating seems the norm, having children with more than one wife is fine, serial monogamy is fine, having sperm donors is fine.. what's the big deal about polygyny really I wonder?

gr8fultohimswt said...

Salaam,

Oh of course allow for a Man to donate millions and millions of his sperm in order for hundreds of Women(and in some cases..MEN) to purchase in order to get pregnant whilst the donor will have no financial expectations other then what he is compensated for and yet as many of you have stated a Man upholding within a poly marriage is shuned and looked upon as being odd...

UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

"what's the big deal about polygyny really I wonder?" According to recent research(your poll) Polygyny seems to be Disgusting....

Dee and Elijah Sue said...

Ok this one hurts my head to think about..lol

UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

Aww your new poll says 77% of the people who participated think your life is awesome.....

3rd... said...

@ua-r ... :) aint it funny?

gr8fultohimswt said...

Salaam UmmAbdur-Rahmaan,

You've made me giggle so hard!!

@ Dee & Elijah Sue..honestly crazy isn't it?!

gr8fultohimswt said...

And thank you btw for your recently left message 3rd