Wednesday, July 8, 2009

What's emancipation in the end?

I am not sure if you guys noticed but I posted a message on my chatbox on the blog that I was unable to open the Married1234 blog.. now the same thing has been happening with my own blog, with Minty's blog and some other sites.. It's weird. I open the website, the content shows, and then all of a sudden I get kicked off, from my own site even.

Sorry for the delay in my posts, right now I am at work and here I managed to stay connected. Not sure how I will resolve this issue.

What's new with you guys?

I will tell you my news:
I have a nice tan.
I closed off my fiscal year, and earned a nice bonus.
Wearing flats today so life is easy.
Sisterwives seem to be content.
Tonight I am planning on eating New York Super Fudge Chunck...
I watched Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and seem to be the only person who actually really liked it (BumbleBee is great).

Some days ago I watched Pride and Prejudice. I am not sure what it is with us women and romantic stories.. We love them. And to be honest I think that even the angry feminists, you know the ones that insist on changing the tyre themselves, secretly love them..I bet they close the curtains and watch the movies in secret.
It’s nice to watch a romantic movie and just for a moment enter that pinky world where all ends well. And you know I realized that there is a whole range of things that cater to that need of women for a world of true and unconditional love in relationships – songs, movies, books, magazines, home accessories… Any romantic product will have women as main customer base. And the funny thing is that race or culture really do not matter. It’s like a universal female weak spot.. It starts with fairy tales, and when we get older we move more towards love stories. Though I saw an interview with a publisher of those romance novels saying they have a vast range of women among their clients not just housewives as people tend to think, but highly-paid working women as well.

Then I started thinking of men, men don’t seem to get it. Mr.Hubby usually falls asleep when I make him watch a soppy love-story, even if it’s a romantic comedy, which I think is an attempt of the industry to make these movies interesting for men as well. Maybe in India the men are different, their movies seem to be full of unrealistic love-stories, I’d say the market is so big that it can’t be just women who watch them.

But in general men are much more interested in se.x. The se.x industry has men as their #1 customer. And when you really try to put things in perspective, like the vastness, the enormity of it, I find it scary. Yeah my friends always joke about how men just watch p0rn, and that it’s a fact of life.. but I think that’s downsizing the issue.
There is tons of money spent on magazines, calendars, p0rn (and this comes in such varying degrees with stuff that is just plain disgusting like se.x with animals), websites, str!pclubs, call g!rils, b0ud0ires.. Business men regularly order pr0stitues when on business trips, and I remember one time a few male friends from my college showed me this street in the city we studied in where it was full with the her0ine addicted h00kers, now these women do not look like women any more, they are skinny, without teeth, they wear dirty clothes, and just look like death is around the corner.. the guys drove me there to show me how men in BMW 5 series and other high class cars went there and picked the women up. I just couldn’t believe that a man with plenty of money would want to have se.x with one of those of women but it was undeniably true.

Now I didn’t even go into how many women experience se.xual abuse in their life, and how many girls experience it in their youth, often from men in their family. And there is tons of other stuff out there in terms of se.xually deviant behaviours and child predators etc.

If you try and put the whole set of behaviors into one big picture, you have to admit that men and women are just totally different. That notion, which was developed in the sixties and the seventies that men and women were equal, that our bodies differed a bit, but that our minds were the same, is just so wrong. We are as opposite as we could possibly be.
That was a line of thinking with which equality was defended. While being equal in worth really doesn’t mean that we have to be the same.. Real emancipation according to me is when we are allowed all our differences and are still valued as much as the other party. A woman should be able to be feminine and succeed in her career still. Forcing women to be masculine and tough, and forcing men to be monogamous is just blowing our world up. We're creating societies in which women feel unfulfilled and men are leading double-lives..


Donald said...

It's now well known to science that there are differences between male and female brains and how they function. Women have a much stronger link between right and left hemispheres, and tend to use more of their brain at the same time (perhaps enabling better multi-tasking and the ability to intuit more subtle communication), whereas men tend to use a more focused area of the brain when performing tasks (perhaps enabling us to be more focused and single-minded). For this reason I agree that we are generally suited to different roles. Better to appreciate each others strengths and work with them, rather than chase some misguided view of equality that is based on uniformity rather than the inherent value of every individual.

All embryos essentially start out female, but (if everything goes as planned) a boy gets hit with massive doses of testosterone in the womb, and that is believed to alter the brain structure. A male brain gets wired up for testosterone this way, and during adolescence, when testosterone levels soar again, changes in behavior become more dramatic. Testosterone is known to contribute to aggression and libido.

However… I've come to realize that we need to be very careful with generalizations, since everyone is different. Some women have very high libidos and can be made to feel like something is wrong with them, especially if they had a very conservative religious upbringing. The same with men who don't fit the typical mold.

Safiyyah said...

Hello Dear:

Ameen! Look what happened to that football player, McNair.

Hidden Sage said...

The Limbic system lies near the center of the brain, it's the part of the brain that sets the person's emotions. Women have a larger limbic system than men, however the part of the limbic system associated with sex is 25 times larger in men than in women. 25 times larger in men than in women! Even though the overall limbic system is bigger in women. Just think about that.
Basically, men are walking around in a state of higher stimulation and arousal. Men require a lot less foreplay than women for that particular reason; we are pretty much always on "standby." Men are wired that way.

UmmUmarNY said...

I agree with everything you say, "Third"! and also "Hidden Sage"'s comment is right on the dot!! I just wonder HOW do women deal with the situation, emotionally, even when rationally it makes perfect sense!!! How do we cope when it is our husband who is looking to remarry? I understand the need for men to take on another wife!!! Islam gives the husband that right, and I have no problem with that! Emotionally though, I just cannot shake up the thoughts of loss and I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life!!! If anyone here has some advise... please share!!

3rd... said...

@UmmUmarNY - welcome!! a good question, and I guess what I am trying to put forward with this post is 'what is the alternative'?
I try to keep in mind that I'd find the alternative (a monogamous man who is dirty inside) worse than this, and that my kids desever a better man as a father as well..

new#3 said...

This is a wonderful post 3rd! As my mother used to say, these differences are what make the world go around. All of the comments are so true. I love the phrase "universal weak spot"..but I think some are more obsessed with romance than others don't you?