Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Green Dreams

I had this weird dream a few days back. I dreamt that I was talking to Mr.Hubby and 4th. Both of them happened to tell me about a vacation they went to. Since the dates coincided of both their vacations - I of course figured they went on that trip together. And I posed the question in my dream: how peculiar that your holidays just happened to be exactly in the same week.. :)

It ended up that they had indeed taken a short trip together and me tripping at them for keeping stupid secrets and not being able to deal with things in the way adults do...

How annoyingly blunt dreams can be! Just when I thought the whole jealousy thing was pretty much out the door there comes the reality-check in my dream!

I havent’t had any dreams like this for more three years now..what a bummer!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Assalam O Alaikum,

What country do you live in? What nationality is your husband? what is your nationality? How did you marry your husband? did you ever meet your co-wives? How was the experience? How did your husband propose the marriage to you?

UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

aww honey I am sorry I sometimes get dreams or random thoughts and then I spiral into a big ball of angst. It actually happened today...but Inha'Allah we can overcome these and move on...

Safiyyah said...

Greetings of Peace Sister:

Building on Anonymous' comment, I think I read somewhere that you said you were Mormon. ??? If so, maybe you could do a post and tell us how p is practiced? i.e., do the wives have rights, division of time, etc.? Thanks.

3rd... said...

Well I can only tell you how we live - very modern. We have as much rights as any modern woman has with her husband. With the big exception that we accept the fact that our husband is the leader of the family and that he has a final saying in things.. actually I think we live very much like in big love, just our houses are further apart and we tend to trust each other a bit less than they do.. maybe that will change with time.

I don't want to share too much private details as I need to protect our identity. But if you wish to know more just email me
3rd.lady@gmail.com
xoxo

Mum-me said...

Hello, I've just come across your blog from pastoral princess. My mother spent many years living amongst the highland tribes of New Guinea where it is common for a man to have up to 4 wives. She has told me that there are many advantages to such an arrangement. I think the whole more-than-one-wife issue is really interesting, but I always couldn't get over the fact that if my husband chose someone else I would be insanely jealous. How do you get past that jealousy? It must be so hard - I know I've probably no idea!

UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

mum-me,
I am a second wife and I am insanely jealous..my cw has more control over her emotions than me I think....SO yeah it is hard but you have good days and bad like normal married couples you just learn to throw things with both hands.....LOL

3rd... said...

Its true, some days are better than others. At first I really couldn't understand how he could love more women at the same time and be genuine. But its really true. And I see that when he is with me, he is with me, and nobody interferes with us two.
I understood that he focuses on me when we are together, and that it was actually ME who was thinking of the other wifes.. that was just so stupid that I decided to stop with the nonsense

now it hardly ever bothers me
:)
(hardly ever.. sometimes it still does)

The Pastoral Princess said...

Third Lady you have been tagged on my blog for Seven Facts About Me if you want to play...

As far as the above comments, I could DEFINATELY see advantages to another spouse! I probably would have some jealousy issues though. I think I would feel much like Barb on Big Love...always wondering in the back of her mind if she did the right thing.