Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The core of things

I just read a post on CM's blog, and this part triggered some thoughts..

Other women who are in polygamous marriages for religious reasons describe spiritual benefits. I can definitely see how polygamy would force a woman to stretch and grow spiritually as she tries to rid herself of the negative emotions and behaviors that are bound to arise. I am fairly certain everyone will concede that women have to develop charity, love, unselfishness, forgiveness, and many other saintly attributes in order to live polygamy successfully. I also can envision how this lifestyle would motivate a woman to turn to God often for His divine help, love, and understanding as she struggles with all that is involved in sharing a husband. However, I am not sure I consider these items real "benefits" but instead I consider them to be beneficial results from living a hard situation.

You see, I find the spiritual benefits really the only real benefits, in anything, whether it be polygyny or life in general.. what else is there?

Being unselfish, caring, forgiving, humble etc. isn’t that the best thing we all could aspire to? Sometimes I feel so sad that these values are not held in a high esteem any more. And I am not making a reference to CM here, as I know she is a wonderful person and does value these things in people. I am talking in general. I mean there used to be something as knighthood in which values such as chivalry, defending the weak and helpless and being generous were held in high esteem. Very few attained these values, but they were perceived as important and people who reached some of them were respected. Nowadays gaining material riches is the highest goal it seems.

I was taught in school that what distinguishes humans from animals is reason, the ability to think about oneself and reflect upon oneself. And I have come to disagree with this notion. A child predator has reason, a rapist has reason, all these people think, reflect, make very elaborate plans on how to achieve their objectives in a way in which no animal could, yet they are animals. They are animals because they are not humane.
It is our ability to be humane which truly makes us human.

And being humane is really hard. Its like our heart is pure humanity but its covered with weed of jealousy, envy, vain, greed and all the other bad characteristics.
And isn’t the best goal in life to get rid of those dirty things within ourselves and let that best of character which is in us to fully flourish? So we may all be like stars of goodness on this planet?


Natja's Natterings said...

I think we have to distinguish 'reason' from 'a reason' aka 'excuse'.

Committing a crime does not benefit society therefore it is an acted on without 'reason'. It is 'unreasonable' to expect to abuse without being punished, therefore, within the framework of society, the greater good demands reason from its populace.

As for Spiritual benefits, I see love as a spiritual act all on its own and whereas I feel it is the goal of everyone to attain a sense of betterment in everything they do, I would not go as far as to say that there is nothing else worthwhile in the world.


CM said...

For the record, I do value spiritual benefits. I also believe that learning to love others, learning to be unselfish, and learning to forgive those that hurt us are very important attributes that we all should be seeking to gain. In fact obtaining these attributes is one of the main purposes of our lives in my opinion. And with God's help we can obtain them.

"isn’t the best goal in life to get rid of those dirty things within ourselves and let that best of character which is in us to fully flourish? So we may all be like stars of goodness on this planet?" I could not agree more!

Anonymous said...


I just read a couple of your entries and it seems that you have been taught that polygyny is encouraged/liked by Islam because it introduces you to spiritual benefits like selflessness, forgiveness, patience etc. I am sorry to say you are wronged by someone who wanted a lot of sex and making it sound sacred at the same time.

Islam does NOT encourage polygyny, it just allows it in the case of serious emergency. Please read Quran with translation and you would know that God didn't allow 4 wives, rather He restricted it to 4 and then suggested not to have more than 1. Why would God suggest to not to have more than 1 wife if polygynous environment was the best. It's a permissible compromise not the best arrangement.

I think new convert women fall prey to sex hungry Muslim men out of their extra ordinary sincerity for (distorted version of) Islam.

If you believe that polygynous environment is beneficial over monogamous environment then this is closer to Mormon church. It doesn't have to do anything with Islam.

Btw, If sharing husband is such a humbling experience then why not sharing wife? I suggest you should take more than 1 husbands so that your husbands could also achieve similar spiritual benefits as you. That would be the best spiritual environment for you and your children and all sister-wives and brother-husbands.

If anything works for you then its fine, you don't have to justify it using some screwed up arguments.