Wednesday, August 5, 2009

the rollercoaster

I was gone for work to a different country. Mr.Hubby and I kept in touch during that time, and I texted him when I was boarding the flight home, and when I landed. But it so happened that he hadn’t turned on his phone for two days.. he is not sure why he forgot about it. So he was oblivious to the fact that I landed.
I went home, went to bed, jetlagged, slept for six hours straight then all of a sudden he entered the room. All surprised to find me there, he blamed me for not making him aware of the fact that I was home. That resulted in an argument.

Then he figured 1st would be steaming by then since she wasn’t able to reach him for two days straight, he went away without resolving anything with me and had a major fight there.

The next day it was my turn and he came to me. I was really pissed off, but we talked about it and then all was fine again.

He decided to go over to 2nd’s home and stay the night there the next day. She still is not on the schedule so he goes there a few times a week. Since she is not on the schedule by her own request he planned on sleeping on the sofa in the living room, which totally upset her, and they spent that night and the next day in full blown arguments. 2nd called 4th up afterwards to pour her heart out about the pain she’s in and how she feels, resulting in 4th having an argument with Mr.Hubby on 2nd’s behalf two days later, adding to the argument some of her own issues.

Then again my night came, and due to some changes to the schedule 4th’s day was the next day and we have this agreement that breakfast time he’s at the wife’s home whose day it is. He was quite exhausted and slept in a bit and was I’d say half an hour later than usual, when 4th started ringing my doorbell continuously as a lunatic. Till I opened up in my pj’s asking what was the matter, I found a straight from the hood attitude in front me asking me if we forgot it was her day. I told her he is coming down now, at which she left in full fury. They ended up having this major fight, stuff was thrown around the home apparently, she fully lost it, and he fully lost it.

Afterwards 4th called 2nd to now return the favor and pour her heart out at which 2nd ended up having a fight with Mr.Hubby on 4th’s behalf, adding some of her own pain and problems to the table as well obviously.

So if anyone is wondering why it always takes me a while to post stuff it’s because there is always a lot going on and often I am exhausted. Because even if I am not present at all these arguments I get to talk about the issues with Mr.Hubby or with one of the other wives…

There is no particular reason why I decided to write this down. I think it’s important for you guys to know I am not forgetting about the blog, and I think it’s important for men wanting polygyny to know what the drawbacks are.


Ana said...

3rd, I could imagine how exhausting it has been for you. I got exhausted just reading what you said has been going on. You're admirable, that is all I can say. How do you maintain your sanity? How does your husband maintain his?

It's interesting. You all defend one another at times. That must be sister love, something I know very little about, referencing a "rival wife"-that how I see wives sharing husbands. It's just me.

You cracked me up when you said you found a straight from the hood attitude in front of you. Polygny can make one a little looney. I've been in the lunatic mode.

UmmAbdur-Rahmaan said...

Wow that made me tired....btu I did laugh at everyone's arguments....I still think #4 needs some attitude adjustment....My husband is always surprised when I am upset about his unfairness with time and he always says "Wow I didn't realize I was that important."

Hidden Sage said...

Great post. Please post more of these type things. (Not much more, but more). Us men need it.

Safiyyah said...

Greetings Dear:


new#3 said...

Wow! I'm glad I'm not the only one who lives such an exhausting life!

What it is about the morning that people want it so badly? Actually, here we have the unwritten policy similar to yours..breakfast with the wife who's day it is. Unfortunately, I don't like that idea. I think breakfast should be with who you sleep with. AFTER breakfast you're on next wife's clock. At least that seems nicer somehow. But alas, the women here seem to agree with your family on this one.

Donald said...

Yeah, that makes a LOT more sense New#3! How come you don't do it like that 3rd?